Reclaiming Our Voice: Overcoming Public Speaking Challenges

Public speaking can be a challenging task for many people, but it can be especially difficult for individuals who identify as Neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, women, and people of color. These groups often face unique challenges when speaking confidently and being perceived as good public speakers. Delivering a powerful message through a workshop, keynote, or class can help individuals feel their real-time impact.

Unfortunately, many Neurodivergent women, Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color, and LGBTQ+ individuals face fears of being misread and overwhelmed by judgments, which is reasonable as studies show that public speaking is consistently ranked as the number one fear in America. Additionally, research demonstrates that Neurodivergent people of all backgrounds are often misjudged and sometimes face penalties, which makes public speaking an even more daunting task.

Research demonstrates that Neurotypical people are less likely to interact with someone on the Autism Spectrum due to implicit biases, which, of course, contribute to miscommunication. Similarly, members of the LGBTQ+ community may experience anxiety and fear of judgment when addressing an audience due to the societal stigma and discrimination that they face. One recent study showed that heterosexual coworkers have a reduced preference for face-to-face communication with their LGBTQ+ peers.

Research shows that women leaders encounter difficulties when it comes to being viewed as leaders contributing ideas. Even if they deliver the same message, women are often perceived as less capable than men. This gender bias can make women feel less self-assured in their speaking abilities and, consequently, be considered less effective as public speakers.

Discrimination against non-white speakers who have accents or who speak with “Black accents” is rampant. Research published by the National Institute of Health finds that “Speakers of African American Vernacular English (AAVE) are seen as less competent, less sociable, less professional, less educated, and of poorer character than speakers of more standard American English.” 

Bias against People of Color speakers persists even when people of color possess similar qualifications as white people; they are less likely to be invited to speak at conferences and events. This bias can cause people of color to feel less confident in their skills and may make it challenging to be perceived as influential public speakers.

I have firsthand experience with numerous challenges in my life as a neurodivergent, non-binary Black individual. I have worked in environments where it seemed that no one wanted to listen to what I had to say. Whenever I spoke, I received no response, and people seemed eager to disregard my points. This was confusing because I've always considered myself a powerful public speaker and communicator. This caused me stress and led to a bit of an internal identity crisis.

Afterward, I came to know that a white woman manager was purposely trying to force me to resign. She directed my colleagues to ignore me and not respond to my opinions during all the staff meetings. Instead of addressing their harmful practices, they chose to evade my points. As the first-ever Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), I had a habit of highlighting biases in thinking that adversely impacted non-white students, LGBTQ+ students, and neurodivergent students.

But at the time, I thought it was me, and this almost took away my love of public speaking. One of my white woman colleagues, someone I trusted, remarked that she was angry that her colleagues had seemingly stolen my will to speak. I was eventually released from employment, but this was a blessing because it gave me the space and time to rediscover my voice.

During my time away, I embarked on a healing journey to reconnect to my authenticity and founded my equity consultancy to help workplaces create affirming cultures where Neurodivergent people of all genders, races, and class backgrounds felt comfortable speaking up and sharing their contributions.

Over time, I learned from somatic therapists and medical professionals ranging from Dr. Gabor Maté, author of The Myth of Normal, Staci K. Haines, “The Politics of Trauma” and Resmaa Menakem, “My Grandmother’s Hands” each of whom shed light on how our emotions, feelings, and bodies are interconnected and how simple shifts in our body language and posture can promote an internal sense of well-being and project an external perception of calm.

I’ve applied somatic principles and developed what I’ve termed The R.O.C.K. Pose, a body-based awareness practice that I created to help articulate how simple shifts in our body language can help all people, especially people with unearned disadvantages, improve our posture, confidence, and presence. I hope that this resource helps one other person reconnect to their voice.

Eyes:

A relaxed, forward-facing gaze can create a sense of ease, trust, and care

Chin:

Keeping your chin up and parallel with your feet improves balance and opens airways.

Shoulders:

Keeping shoulders back and down improves posture and can convey authority and purpose.

Arms:

Keep arms at sides when not in use to appear approachable and relaxed.

Pelvis:

Pushing the pelvis forward instead of leaning back or bending can improve posture by projecting confidence and making it easier to stand up straight.

Knees:

To look open and flexible, avoid locking your joints and stand with your knees shoulder-width apart for a comfortable and confident stance.

Further Context and Insights about The R.O.C.K. Pose

Eyes

Maintaining a relaxed and attentive posture with your eyes forward can make you appear trustworthy and kind without direct eye contact.

Chin

Keeping your chin up and out and parallel with your feet can show you are confident and in control. This has also been shown to help with balance and support deep breathing.

Shoulders

If you are standing, especially speaking publicly, you must relax your shoulders and allow them to lower naturally and push slightly back. When you do this, you'll notice that your chest automatically widens, allowing more air to enter your lungs. This intentional relaxing of your shoulders can have the added benefit of making you look open, confident, and purposeful. Keeping your shoulders back and down also improves your posture.

Arms

I’ve lost count of the clients who have asked me what to do with their arms when they are presenting, speaking publicly, or attending a networking event. Based on social science research, I recommend allowing your arms to rest at your sides when you are not using them to articulate a point, click through a slide deck, or hold a cup. When using your arms, moving slightly slower than what feels natural is advisable to reduce unnecessary movement. If you are presenting, your audience will either focus on your visual materials or you. If they are looking at you, you want them to hear your message and feel that you are a credible source. This means limiting unnecessary arm movement.

Often, people use their arms excessively, which can be distracting, especially when they become nervous. Emotional states are contagious, and seeing a presenter flailing or holding their arms stiffly in place cues audience members that something is off. Without any indication of what the problem is, they will create narratives that detract from your point. Ideally, our body language should complement our message, not detract from it. To sum up, when it comes to your arms, keep them at your side when you are not using them. This will help you look at ease and approachable.

Pelvis

When speaking publicly, networking, or walking, intentionally pushing your pelvis slightly forward instead of leaning back or bending can help you project a confident and secure posture. You want your pelvis or hips to align with your shoulders and ankles. Leaning your pelvis back can cause your shoulders to hunch forward and weaken your footing. Shifting your pelvis forward can help you feel more settled, confident, and in command of your actions. It can also be easier for you to project your voice. Surprisingly, I found that shifting my pelvis forward improved my ability to breathe into my diaphragm, benefitting my breathwork, which is vital for public speakers. This simple adjustment can also make it easier to stand up straight.

Knees

Through trial and error, I have discovered that it is best to avoid locking our knees in place and to position our stance shoulder-width apart to achieve a comfortable and confident pose. When coaching individuals on projecting confidence, trustworthiness, and presence as a public speaker, leader, or manager, I've found that most people need to take up the right amount of space. We often instinctively take up less space than we need to feel secure, grounded, and confident, or we take up too much space, which destabilizes our stance and can cause unnecessary movements. After many conversations and coaching sessions, I've found that starting with aligning the ends of our left and right shoulders with our hips and knees and then adjusting according to comfort can help significantly. The goal is to feel relaxed, open, confident, and kind internally and to project this sentiment externally.

In Closing

If you didn't read the whole article, here's a summary: Your body language affects how you feel inside and how others perceive you. While we shouldn't judge people based on their body language, it's important to recognize that it can impact our interactions. In the long term, we should work towards breaking down the associations between body language and confidence, trustworthiness, and leadership. However, in the meantime, I will continue to offer tips like the R.O.C.K. Pose, which can help improve your posture and confidence. To do the R.O.C.K. Pose, maintain a relaxed and attentive posture with your eyes forward, chin up parallel to your feet, shoulders pulled back and down slightly, arms at your side when not in use, pelvis shifted forward in line with your shoulders, knees, and ankles, and avoid locking your elbows and knees. Practicing this pose can help you feel more settled, grounded, and confident when speaking, networking, and presenting.