We all Get Triggered. Here’s How to Stay Calm and Present
As a response to the stress that marginalized groups experience frequently, I created The S.N.A.P.S. Method. Stress is an inescapable part of life, and unfortunately, people from marginalized communities encounter more stressful situations than others.
Recent surveys show that LGBTQ+, Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color, as well as Neurodivergent people, report experiencing higher levels of stress.
Studies indicate that stress can become "locked" in our bodies over time, leading to problems with connection, being present, and effectively responding to challenges between challenges and threats.
Due to the Western culture’s over-emphasis on intellectualizing, we often become detached from understanding the wordless wisdom within our bodies.
Over time, we lose our ability to recognize and disperse the effect of stress on our bodies.
Most stress-management approaches are mind-based, such as mindfulness or tenets of Stoicism. Although these approaches are helpful, they do not address the accumulated stress reactions experienced by many of us.
In my equity practice, I support LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and Neurodivergent leaders across the United States. I've found the S.N.A.P.S. method to be a successful way for people to navigate stressful situations in their daily lives. After all, it's not always possible to meditate in a stressful situation.
S.N.A.P.S. is an acronym that stands for the following:
Settling ourselves (the body, mind, and heart)
Noticing (sensations, thoughts, and feelings in the body)
Accepting discomfort (without intellectualizing, assigning value, or avoiding)
Practicing presence (remain in the here and now and allow, and if able, respond from a place of strength)
Shifting our energy and attention (choose a physical activity that brings you joy)
How to Apply The S.N.A.P.S. Method in Real Time
Settle the body, mind, and heart (in response to anything that is too much, too soon, or unexpected)
Deep breathing is an effective technique to calm the body, mind, and heart. Simply inhale slowly through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this process for a few minutes, and you will start feeling relaxed and focused.
Place your dominant hand over your stomach or heart and press gently but firmly. This helps to calm the vagus nerve, which controls our fight, freeze, and flight response.
It is similar to the way caregivers rub a child’s stomach or chest when the child is frightened or hurt. If possible, rotate your hand around your stomach or heart.
Silently replay a tune that you find comforting or calming, such as "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers.
One stanza is usually enough to settle us into awareness. If you're alone, try humming the tune for an added boost!
The calming effect of mantras, prayers, and communal singing speaks to the efficacy of this practice.
Notice any feelings, sensations, and thoughts
Our minds create stories in an instant, usually filtering information that confirms our existing beliefs or worldviews.
Therefore, it's important to take notice when someone's words or actions trigger fear or remind you of a past traumatic experience.
By being aware of our surroundings and what is happening in our emotional and mental spheres, we can effectively ground ourselves.
Notice any triggers and focus on what is occurring in your body and senses.
Common bodily reactions to stress include tightening of the jaw, unknowingly holding one’s breath, narrowing of our eyes, dryness in our throat, a “sinking feeling” in the stomach, and “fidgety” hands, arms, feet, and legs.
Accept discomfort (without intellectualizing, assigning value, or “fixing”)
Acceptance does not mean approval, but it helps us get to a place of clarity. Clarity is the foundation for conviction, which supports change.
We accept how things are in the moment so that we may place our experiences in the proper context and position ourselves to what is occurring.
If we experience hurtful language and we do not accept it, we are less able to meet our needs for dignity and belonging. Instead, accepting that we are hurt by what was said or done allows us to be more present and aware so that we can respond appropriately.
Be present and aware so that you can respond with intention
Being present and aware is vital to meeting our needs and ensuring that stress does not become locked into our bodies.
The Three B's—Breathing, Boundaries, and Belonging—are helpful in staying present. Namely, choose to breathe deeply into your diaphragm, inhaling through the nose and exhaling from a relaxed mouth.
Boundaries refer to our non-negotiables, and belonging speaks to how we relate to the space we’re in. We are likely to respond differently in a scenario where a stranger crosses our boundaries than when a loved one does so.
Shift excess energy through physical exercise
Strength training, jogging, and aerobic exercise are helpful in "moving the energy through us" after a stressful situation.
It's important to shift energy as soon as possible after the stressful event has passed so that the energy does not get "locked" into our tissues.
Movement is our body’s primary mode of expression. It allows us to remain connected to our bodies, emotions, and instincts, helping us to stay flexible, aware, and in tune with the wordless wisdom within.
Let’s explore The S.N.A.P.S. Method via an analogy
Authors Regina Jackson and Saira Rao, founders of Race2Dinner demonstrate the importance of awareness through an example they draw on.
Imagine you run into a lake and stir up the sediment that has settled on the lake bottom. Soon, the water becomes murky, and you can no longer see the bottom. This causes fear in your mind, and you resist the urge to imagine any lurking dangers.
Instead, you choose to stand still. After a few minutes, the sediment settles, and the water clears around you. Gradually, you can see your feet clearly and realize that you are not in any danger. If there is danger, wer’re better positioned to respond.
The S.N.A.P.S. Method allows us to do the same in our lives. By settling our bodies, minds, and hearts and noticing our urges, impulses, thoughts, and feelings, we can see them clearly and accept them. This way, we can remain present and respond instead of reacting.
Being settled, aware, and present allows us to respond from a position of groundedness. I call this our “free response” because, unlike the impulsive freeze, fight, and flee response, we can now freely choose our response that aligns with our values and expectations.
If you forget the process, I've come up with a simple way to remember it based on our fingers.
Begin by looking at your hands, starting with your thumb and ending with your pinky finger. If you don't have hands, reference the image below.
Photo credit: Nsey Benajah @nseylubangi
How to Remember The S.N.A.P.S. Method
The first step in The S.N.A.P.S. Method involves settling your body. Infants often suck their thumbs to calm themselves down, thus settling their bodies Thumb = SETTLE.
The pointer finger is used to notice something Pointer finger = NOTICE.
In American culture, a raised middle finger and closed hand can express anger and not accepting something Middle finger = ACCEPT.
In some cultures, a ring may be presented as a gift or present Ring finger = PRESENT.
Finally, bending your pinky finger alone can be quite challenging when your other fingers are straightened. Try it out! "Bend" is a synonym for "shift" Pinky = SHIFT.
Once you are done, snap your fingers to remember S.N.A.P.S. I might sound corny, but I must hand it to myself: S.N.A.P.S. works in a pinch!
CLOSING
I developed The S.N.A.P.S. Method while in deep reflection and healing from working in a traumatic workplace. It is adapted from Resmaa Menakem’s “Five Anchors.”
I am fortunate that I have the time and resources to be in deep contemplation about how to create affirming cultures that promote Intersectional Neurodiversity. I regularly lead trainings, coach leaders, and speak about Intersectional Neurodiversity, affirming workplaces, and wellness.
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