How to Make Space for Grief at Work—without causing problems
Photo credit: Tim Gouw
Creating a space for processing and healing after a tragedy is an essential step towards collective recovery. As leaders, it is crucial to show up for your community and provide a safe and supportive environment for everyone to grieve and express their emotions. To ensure that this space is effective, start by dedicating enough time to support those in attendance.
The first step is to handle the necessary logistics, including taking an inventory of needed materials, reserving the space, scheduling, and inviting participants. These steps should be completed at least two days prior to the healing space to ensure everything is in place.
As the session begins, provide opening statements that welcome everyone to the circle and thank them for attending. It is essential to remind everyone that the intention is to create an affirming space for them to process their feelings and reflect on the messages they are receiving about the attack, news, or upsetting event.
As lead facilitators, our responsibility is to create a safe container for community members through modeling compassion, curiosity, and courage. Using "I" statements is helpful, and participants should avoid sharing specific details about the event, as this tends to shift the spirit of the space from one of introspection and grounding to external processing, and discussion, and this process may cause further harm or invite conflicting views.
The purpose of an affirming space is to allow community members the opportunity to reach a state of awareness of how they are processing news or events within their bodies and to leverage this awareness toward healthy ways of expressing or allowing emotions and stress to move through them.
There are many ways to create an affirming space for healing immediately after a tragedy. The rest of this blog is one approach that has supported groups ranging from young students to adults and people from different backgrounds. If there is anything that does not resonate or feel attuned to your community, feel free to adapt or omit a suggestion.
Start with a grounding exercise to help participants increase awareness of the body's sensations, posture, tension, and balance. This exercise will help them notice and move through strong feelings when they get overwhelmed. Dedicate some time for silent writing or thinking, where participants can write down their thoughts and emotions for five minutes. Remind everyone that this is entirely voluntary, and there are no right or wrong responses.
Now, shift to sharing and thinking about the event. Provide questions or prompts that encourage attendees to reflect on their feelings, such as how they first heard about the attack and what emotions came up for them in the moment or immediately afterward. Consider offering ways that anyone can process and release tension and stress within their body (this will depend on the audience and their backgrounds). Remember that silence is okay, and it's all about noticing what surfaces for you.
Finally, close the session with another grounding exercise, such as belly breathing, for one to two minutes. Remind attendees that if they feel like they would benefit from support and don’t know where to access it, they can contact you.
In conclusion, it is essential to allow community members the opportunity to process and acknowledge potential harm and stress following stressful events, news, or attacks. Leaders who take steps to meet the holistic needs of their teams enjoy higher morale, stronger team cohesion, and build trust.
This blog demonstrated a bare-bones approach to creating an affirming space for healing and processing after upsetting events or news. For more information about how this process can be adapted to meet the needs of neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, and BIPOC diverse teams, feel free to contact me at founder@chrishootenconsulting.com.
